Bipolar Family - bipolarfamily.com - Real Life Stories - Family

"On 9-11 I was talking to... F15's that were going
to intercept flight 93 in Pennsylvania."



	I received this story in response to the Real Life Story titled, "In 48 Hours 23 Years Literally Disappears". I was touched and moved with these words and the honesty shared from someone I had never met. Bipolar Disorder touches people from all walks of life and my friend Mr. C's story is an acknowledgment that many people living what others may think is a normal life, are in fact suffering and facing the challenges of Bipolar Disorder.

Dear Jim:

I can sympathize with you and your families struggle. Hang in there, with the right meds (lithium), they worked for me, your wife will be OK. The biggest hurdle that I faced over the past two years is dealing with the fact that I have an illness which most believe, means your crazy or weak or whatever. Not so, I was able to rebuild my life over the past two years (alone unfortunately). I have a home and a job and I retired from the Navy and got divorced and went bankrupt. But now my life is OK. That's hard for someone like me to accept.

I'm used to being manic most of the time and find myself wanting to accomplish great things and I have, for the most part I am a successful person. It took a lot of meds to make me comfortable just having an ordinary day. Going from being an Air Traffic Controller on an aircraft carrier to living with my mom at 40, and financial disaster and pending DOOM along with all the nasty things that come from divorce, calming down and just being ordinary was hard, but it eventually happened and now my life is rather dull and normal.

My wife accused me of molesting my 6 year old son so I have only seen my kids once since June which brings up a point. When you have this illness you don't get "get well" cards from friends and family, you basically, are assumed to be capable of anything no matter how out of character that may be. I eventually was forced to have a psyche evaluation by the state of New Jersey as part of this custody battle. The independent Dr. said I was within the normal range and he saw no residual effects of bipolar disorder sexual deviance. But still once a bell is rung it can't be unrung and the investigation is still ongoing.

I recently learned that my son has been diagnosed with ADHD. I care about him and fear that his mother and grandmother will not deal very well with the fact that he too is MENTALLY ILL. I mean they have thrown that in my face to the maximum extent possible as if I had a choice. I would have rather been diagnosed with just about anything other than a mental illness because people think you can control it or will yourself better. I just want to be well. I see a VA Doctor every month or so and have been weened off of almost all my meds. I still take a small amount of lithium. And I regularly see my brother, mother, and Doctor just to make sure I'm still OK, so far so good.

I can't tell you how it feels to be manic. Most people know what its like to be depressed but to describe mania is difficult because no one else can relate through personal experience. All I can tell you is that I have had a very traumatic life. Dealing with huge disasters from a fire in Kentucky when I was 13 where 170 people were killed and I helped in the removal of the bodies, to being an EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) in Virginia , to the Cole my sister ship which was attacked by terrorists, and then finally 9-11. I was talking to airplanes all over the east coast that day including 2 F15's that were going to intercept flight 93 in Pennsylvania.

It seems that I have a nasty case of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome) that is underlying my BP (Bipolar Disorder). So when ever something like that happens I end up manic and try to save the world. Just having that knowledge and knowing that I need to let others handle the disasters from now on has really helped me stay well.

I wish your family peace. It's possible to have some peace as long as you can accept your wife's illness and support her. She will be well again and then she may get unwell again too, you just have to support her. Don't beat her over the head with being ill when she is well. I think that will help her to stay well longer. You have done a great job with your web page and I appreciate your offer to share. But as for me, for now anyway, I'd just as soon get on with my life and forget all about Bipolar Disorder. Good luck my friend and just remember this; when you said, "in sickness and in health", there was no clause excluding mental illnesses from that contract.

Your Friend,

Mr. C